Day 2: Food on the brain, not in my stomach

I'm going to sit here and blog instead of thinking about and hanging out around the macaroni and cheese that is cooking in the kitchen. I'm not going to lie. I feel like I could eat the TV that is sitting in front of me, but I am down 3 pounds from Friday!! I started the 500 calorie diet yesterday incorporated with the HCG diet. Yesterday was fine. I felt good and cleansed without any cheating. Started the day with a cup of coffee. Lunch was crab meat on a bed of lettuce with malt vinegar for dressing with a piece of Melba Toast and strawberries for dessert. Not too bad. Dinner was rotisserie chicken with spinach and a garlic grissini breadstick. Microwaved warm cinnamon apples satisfied me as snacks and a dessert after dinner. However, today is another story. The hunger is starting to set in. I'm guessing this is how a crack addict feels when they are waning off their drug. For the longest time, food was my drug of choice. Addictions can come in different forms. Some are more fatal than others and some are less severe. The problem with a food addiction is you need food to survive. You don't need drugs or alcohol every day, but with food you do. That's the tricky part of this all. I think growing up in an unstable, tumultuous home, food was my only stability. Without fail, it was there when I wanted it and when I needed it when the ones I needed the most to be there as a child wasn't. I was always a rescuer to everyone else. Therapists have told me I have the "savior mentality" of always wanting to help others with their problems above addressing my own issues. It's now time that I save myself. I've been burying myself in food for too long, losing a little bit of my shine with each indulgent, but rescuing is never easy. Think about it this way. It's a lot easier to pull down a heavy stack of books than it is to lift that same stack and put it away. I know the journey won't be easy, but the destination will make it all worth it. I can't wait to get back into some of my old clothes and even those clothes hanging up with the price tags on them that I never got into but bought them thinking, "maybe one day." Well... that day is coming and I won't stop until I get there. I am still waiting to find out what my future holds as far as my career goes. Hopefully, the answers will come soon. Until then, I wait patiently taking one day at the time and doing what I need to do to get there. So, here goes the days without any fats, starches, or sugars. I could use the added prayers as appetite suppressants in these coming days and I wane myself off of my drug. I'm going through rehab and this is the detox stage. Brighter days are yet to come. I am hopeful! For now, I'll go have my lean sirloin with aspargus before heading to bed. Here's to more weight loss to come...